[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Tuesday, August 20th, 2013|
I'm going crazy. He randomly texted me yesterday and I was back on cloud nine and then when he didn't respond back my hopes fell again. This all feels wildly unhealthy but I was very clear with him about my feelings in a follow up text today so if it goes POOF then there's nothing I can do about it.
I actually do sort of feel like, at this point, if he doesn't respond, then it's time to get off tje
roller coaster. It's still wildly disappointing, but I can't force him to love me.
2013 is the year of Mike and the learning of lessons that are ultimately really
good lessoms but that are tearing my heart out in the process.
|Friday, March 29th, 2013|
My FB friends will have the pleasure of reading about how my acupuncturist diagnosed me with a damp spleen and how that pisses me off because I googled it and a damp spleen = a sedentary lifestyle and that's not true BIZNATCH.
She also commented to her intern that I have a red-tipped tongue so I googled THAT and came up with THIS:
"When the tip of the tongue is red it is an indication that emotional distress is causing an imbalance."
It said other stuff about red-tipped tongue, but that's the part that made me go blahshahahdghshshahhablarrrggggg. Definitely feeling some emotional distress these days.
|Sunday, March 3rd, 2013|
Remember that bitch aunt of mine who implied that I weighed 300 pounds on Thanksgiving? Well she has taken to commenting on virtually EVERYTHING my parents, brothers and SILs post to FB (including one comment on my SIL's post about how a prisoner at work [she works in a jail] commented that she'd gained weight -- Suzy said something about how bitchy that prisoner was or whatever) but NEVER A PEEEEEEP on anything I post. This morning her happy birthday post to a kid I grew up with (who, frankly, I was surprised she was even FB friends with) really confirmed to me that she's A TRIP. I think she for sure knows she offended me and is talking to everyone BUT me because she's immature.
But whatevs. I'll see her ass eventually and I WILL call her out, and in the meantime I'll sit
back and enjoy reading the parenting advice she likes to give my SILs....she's never had a kid, btw.
|Saturday, November 24th, 2012|
Reasons Why My Aunt Suzy is a BEEEEYOTCH and Also Why I am Officially Not Keeping Ties with Her Ass Anymore After Her Behavior on Thanksgiving:
1. My brother had a baby on Monday. His wife did, anyway. The baby's name is not my #1 favorite, but she aint my baby and the nickname is perfectly cute, so whatevs. Suzy had the NERVE to scoff at the first name and then announce that she'd be calling the baby by her middle name - Grace.
My mom and I jumped down her damn throat at that one.
2. She was bitching about being hungry from the moment she walked in the house. My mom reported that she went straight to the fridge when she walked in, which my mother thinks is ONE MILLION PERCENT RUDE unless you're one of her children, daughters in law or grandchildren. We usually have some sort of pre-dinner snacky stuff, but we didn't this year until I arrived with the artichoke dip and 11 perfect salted caramel mini cheesecakes and one busted one. My dad suggested that we give Suzy that busted one to shut her up so he took it out to her while I was in the kitchen organizing the dip and preparing the caramel sauce for the cheesecakes.
I hear her go "OH ELIZABETH. This is delicious. Marry me."
And I start to say "Would you like some caramel sauce too?" but I only got through "Would you like" before I heard her finish her thought: "Then we could BOTH weigh 300 pounds."
And I considered what I'd just heard.
Did I actually hear that?
Yes, yes I did.
I stood there in the kitchen with the sting of that comment hitting me and I could feel tears starting to well up but I knew I was at LEVEL 10 PMS that day so I talked myself into thinking that I didn't just hear what I thought I heard, but I also knew that YES I DID HEAR THAT so you know what? FUCK GIVING HER ASS CARAMEL SAUCE.
My dad came into the kitchen a few minutes later.
"Did you hear what Suzy just said?"
Yes. He was horrified. He tried to say that she probably didn't mean it, but sheeeeeeeyat...I'm prettttttttttty sure it was a "drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts" situation. He agreed.
Granted, she's a recovering alcoholic so she wasn't drunk, but same diff.
So as soon as I finished texting my cousin about this situation (my dad saw me texting and immediately guessed who my message was going to because this is the only cousin with whom I share Aunt Suzy and I knew knew knew knew she'd understand), I poured myself a big ass glass of red wine and sat down right next to that recovering alcoholic bitch to drink it.
When I finally got my mother alone I asked her if she'd heard the comment. She sheepishly said that she did.
My brothers keep trying to find reasons to explain it away -- always the peacemakers -- because they couldn't fathom why she would ever say that so SURELY it was a joke that I was taking harder than necessary.
I'll give them that there is a chance that she was exaggerating and that she could have made the same comment to either of my petite SILs and it would be an obvious exaggeration...but there is an equal chance that it slipped out because she had been thinking it. That chance increases when you consider my mother's report that she appeared to have realized what she was saying as the words were coming out of her mouth, but that they were already out and she couldn't make me unhear them.
So FUCK HER.
3. And then as if all that wasn't enough -- the baby comment and the 300 pound comment are both just totally unforgivable, if you ask me -- when it was time for dinner, and after multiple comments about how OMG SO HUNGRY AND STARVING TO DEATH she was even though she had just eaten artichoke dip, she was standing up at her seat, reaching all the way across the whole damn table to build her plate and had a FULL PLATE OF FOOD -- GRAVY AND EVERYTHING -- BEFORE ANYONE ELSE EVEN SAT DOWN.
This blew my mind. BLEW MY DAMN MIND.
I didn't say anything to her because I knew I was already pissed at her and I was already PMS'ing and I didn't want to regret any words of hate that might fly out of my mouth so I exercised restraint.
But good god.
OOH OOH OOH AND THEN when she had finished eating (before everyone else because she had like a several minute head start), she took it upon herself to open a box of candy that a guest brought for my mother and helped herself to a few pieces.
That one pissed my mother off GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD because my mom doesn't reallllly even like See's candy, but she already can't stand Suzy so for her to assume it was okay to open a hostess gift that wasn't even for her, really ticked my mom off.
The next day my mom told me that my dad was ready to write Suzy off after her behavior at Thanksgiving, but decided to sleep on it. I'm glad he didn't say anything to her because she IS family, but not family we need to Thanksgiving with anymore ever. Next year we'll be going to my cousin Mary's house (not related to Suzy) where Suzy is specifically not invited (I told Mary about the 300 pound and baby name comments)...so for the first time in probably 25 years, Suzy will need to find some other house to invade.
AND FOR THE RECORD, Thanksgiving morning I ran a 5k race AND went to a Dailey Method class...so F-U-C-K THAT BITCH.
|Friday, November 2nd, 2012|
The Amazing Race Winner just texted me to tell me that her adorable boyfriend who I think is exactly perfect for her just proposed. It's funny how a girl can be SO LEGITIMATELY happy for them and bummed that I have to keep waiting all at the same time.
Yay/Boo. But mostly yay.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
|Tuesday, May 15th, 2012|
|Blast from the past
Anyone remember Transitional Boyfriend? This was a dude at work who I had the hots for circa 2005. I hadn't SEEN him (except for on the jumbotron at a local sports team events because he works for the team as a side gig) in like five years and I've only talked to him a time or two because he also happens to be a DJ on one of the local radio stations one day a week and sometimes I'd be driving around and hear him and dial up the ol' listener request line and we'd have a quick chat between songs or whatever.
But all that is still a long time ago...like at least a couple years.
Then last week I got an email from him at work and all it was was the subject line -- him asking me to call him, with his work phone number.
So I did, and we chatted about nothing in particular and then we decided we'd have lunch the following week. It was totally out of the blue, but he's just sorta that kind of guy so I didn't think TOO much of it...but I did wonder.
So then today was the lunch and it actually happened and it was really good to see him. He made a comment about how he felt like he was on his way to a first date and that he was feeling all goofy and nervous, but the wedding ring on his finger told me that he was just being goofy and nervous. I told him that I wore one of my favorite dresses because I knew I had big lunch plans. He said he really liked my dress.
And then we had lunch. He paid. Totally normal, but we did discuss that in all the years we'd known each other, we'd never had lunch together.
And then he told me about how last Christmas his mother in law offered him Kahlua for his coffee and by the end of the day, he'd polished off the whole bottle and how now his in laws think he's an alcoholic. We agreed that one bottle of Kahlua over the course of 8 hours wasn't enough for the Betty Ford Clinic, but that next time he should drink something manlier so that he doesn't have to be the guy who overindulges in Kahlua.
And then I told him about Anna and how she fell on my watch and broke her head (it's a story on the bacon blog from a couple weeks ago) and how last weekend I was sitting next to my nephew while he was using a shovel to get water out of the pool and I was looking away from him and talking to someone when Anna's mom was like "ELIZABETH, THAT'S HOW HE FELL LAST TIME! You have to pay attention!" (Because she was supervising him a few weeks ago and he totally fell into the pool, which was no big because there were 10 people standing right there, but it scared him.) But now I'm convinced that she thinks that I wasn't paying close enough attention to Anna when she fell. Transitional Boyfriend was uncharacteristically sweet about it and told me that for sure, she wasn't saying that.
And we discussed that the next time I go to a game that he's working (which is all the home games), I should come up and say hello (though I have no idea where that might be), and that my friend user
has season tickets so I'll for sure be back for a couple games.
And then he pulled Leslie's last name out of his ass -- which was weird because I was pretty vague about her -- just that she had inherited someone else's season tickets so she had good seats and blah blah blah and that her name was Leslie and he told me that he used to have a crush on her (10-ish years ago, I'd guess).
I since told Leslie that part and she thinks that he was a lame flirter, if that was the case.
So anyway...platonic lunch date with Transitional Boyfriend, whose marriage and wife were not topics of conversation.
We agreed that we'd do it again because he wants to hear all about speed dating, which I sorta dropped on him at the end.
Still all kinds of adorable though, I tell you what.
|Tuesday, February 7th, 2012|
OMG YOU GUYS FRENCHIE MCFRENCHERSON IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got an out-of-the-blue IM from him today. He started back at work here yesterday. He's in the building next door. We're having lunch next week. He is going to come by and say hello today. I hope my tall hot exec future boyfriend sees the hot French man getting all up in my business.
The good news is that I don't have a home to bone him in, so there will be none of that.
But I'm moving soon, baby!! HOLLER!!!!!!!!
|Friday, October 14th, 2011|
|Hi LJ. I still love you. Here, let me prove it by posting a long, boring work rant!
Indulge me for a minute while I go on a rant.
My job is to do this one thing for two releases a year: Q1 and Q3. This takes all year, working at a pretty solid pace, with the occasional week or two to take a breath and the occasional week or two to FREAK OUT.
Ebb and flow. It's all good.
One of the FREAK OUT weeks comes toward the end because you're suddenly hit with a bunch of training materials to review and pick through with a FINE TOOTHED COMB because if the training people weren't paying attention the 17 times you've already explained something to them, it's YOUR ass that's grass.
So that part of the process happens to coincide with the start of the next release, which means that the overlappy part is stressful because you're managing two releases at once and annoying because you're OVER talking about the about-to-go-live release and stressful AND annoying because the about-to-start release hasn't quite solidified but OH WELL, JUST BE FLEXIBLE AND PS, DEADLINES, YAY!!
So there I was, making my way though the end of the Q1 release in mid August and trying to wrap my head around what the heck what was going on for Q3, when the IT said "SURPRISE! WE'RE GONNA DO A Q2! And don't worry Elizabeth, your users won't be impacted, no big!"
Except part of my responsibility is to not trust IT when they say that my users won't be impacted so I have to read all the stuff anyway and do a full-fledged assessment...which wasn't for nothing because OH HEY! Turns out there's A BUNCH OF STUFF that I need to worry about.
So then I was trying to wrap up Q1, trying to make my way though Q2 AND trying not to drop the ball on Q3, but then Q2 got so hairy that I HAD to drop the ball on Q3, but everyone else was too so that's not a huge big deal.
Not a huge big deal UNTIL we got ourselves organized around Q2 and then realized that OH SHIT Q3 IS STILL HAPPENING AND NOW WE'RE A MONTH BEHIND!!
AND THEN my boss said "Oh hey Elizabeth, you're gonna be in charge of alllll this shit now and we're hiring someone new to help you with your current job." (Which was HILARIOUS because I swear to God the day before I told the chick who USED to be in charge of all the shit that I'd never want to do her job.)
And then suddenly I was still trying to put Q1 to bed, trying to keep myself afloat with Q2, trying to catch up on Q3 AND trying to onboard someone new who is 22 and just graduated from college and who, it turns out, needs to be told to STOP SAYING "LIKE" ALLLLLL THE TIME, DO NOT INTERRUPT ME OR OUR CLIENT AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME TO CORRECTLY FORMAT YOUR GOD DAMN BULLETS ON THAT SLIDE, I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(But I'm actually sort of allowed to be a DEMANDING BITCH because my firm likes to beat the shit out of fresh college grads...which I was really against at first but then I found out how CLUELESS 22 year olds are and that beating the shit out of them is the only way to make them awesome. Tough love.)
At this point in my story it's mid-September and I've been working 10-12 hour days for a few weeks and I'm getting tired.
And then the pace continues to pick up and I'm trying to do Q1, Q2, Q3 AND my "you're in charge now" job AND onboard a CHILD to A) the firm and B) a really difficult and complex role...
AND THEN I FIND OUT I HAVE TO MOVE.
THE SAME WEEKEND AS MY TRIP TO MARYLAND AND PA TO VISIT eithnie
, which was scheduled before the shit hit the fan, work-wise.
So I ended up working the whole flight there and most of the flight back (yay for WiFi in the sky!) EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON PTO and then moving on Monday (originally intended to be a spa day -- HAHAHA!).
And did I mention that there were some last minute logistical challenges that led to me having to rent a van and get a second storage space AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE?
Because that happened too.
And how I had to move back into my parents' guest room (only until February, I swear) while the entire house was disassembled so the hardwood floors could be refinished? Which meant that all the furniture and stuff from the living room and dining room was shoved into all the other rooms, including the guest room?
Because THAT happened TOO!
And now it's Friday night, I got to work at 7:30AM and left at 10:15PM (not atypical for a Friday night these days and which makes me ELL OH ELL that I used to be able to cut out early and make it to the 430 Dailey Method class on Fridays) and I still have four or five hours of stuff I have to do this weekend to prep for a Monday morning meeting.
And I can't complain about it at work because my firm is sort of notorious for requiring some ASS BUSTING and I know there are people who have worked 12 hour days for YEARS on end, but I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THEM!!!!!!
I have no idea how these people manage to have personal lives.
And I'm pretty sure my brain is about to reach maximum capacity.
And I'm pleased to report that I'm still caffeine-free, which I actually think has been critical to my endurance while SPRINTING A MARATHON.
I really wanted to use ALL CAPS FOR THIS WHOLE POST but OMG I'm so tired that the words are just sorta falling out of my fingers and reaching all the way over to the CAPS LOCK is just too much trouble.
If my big, mega important deadline wasn't on Wednesday (LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, HOLLER!!!), then I'd probably cry. But instead I'm going to post this, wash my face, go to bed and then get up in 8 hours (luxurious!!) so I can go to Weight Watchers and appreciate one of the few benefits of being overworked: Lack of an appetite, which leads to weight loss!
I'm a committed blood donor, which is why my ass signed up for the bloodmobile when it makes its quarterly visit ON WEDNESDAY, which is the same day as my BIG, MEGA IMPORTANT DEADLINE (read: three hour presentation of which I will be presenting two hours and 45 minutes' worth), which is ALSO the same day as speed dating.
SO, my agenda for Wednesday is:
10-11: Donate blood
1-4: Talk about stuff for a long time
7-9: Speed date and be charming
If the pre-meeting blood donation isn't a good enough reason to eat post-blood-donation cookies before lunch, then I don't know what is.
AND, so this isn't totally WAH WAH WAH MY CAREER IS AWESOME BUT IT REQUIRES ME TO PUT IN TOO MUCH EFFORT, I'll close my acknowledging that my efforts are not going unnoticed or unappreciated.
I just really don't want to do this again. I like my life and my friends and my family far too much to continue ignoring them.
|Thursday, September 8th, 2011|
I probably won't be messaging this dude because I can not meet his needs, but it's a shame because he's 6'6", bearded and handsome:I think amputee women are hot.
I am looking for a woman who is willing to be with a nice man who respects you for who you are. I am attracted to women with fewer limbs. I don't know why, it just is, so i have a few choices, be lonely, find a woman who is not an amputee to love, but know that there will always be something missing, or find an woman who is an amputee. I know that you are more than the limb(s) which are not there. Show me, tell me, let me find the real you that others have trouble seeing.
keywords: wheelchair, crutches, amputee
|Saturday, August 27th, 2011|
I've been too busy working and juicing and working and juicing to have more than a vague awareness of:
1. The earthquake on the east coast, though I did read FB post from a fellow west coaster that was all "California is yawning right now." (I think that might have been you, jameth
2. There's a hurricane or something coming to the east coast now? What? Maybe I should google that. This is some nature-related drama that is interesting.
3. Kim Kardashian's wedding
4. Whether or not Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. (Something else to google...I would be interested in this news and I'm not sure if the Life & Style magazine cover at the grocery store today can be trusted. But if it can, then yay! Twins!)
I'd also like to report that 2011 is kicking some ass. Despite the married men.
OOH! Speaking of!! He acted like it aint no thang yesterday and IM'd me just like normal and when he left for the day he quietly walked up behind me and whispered goodbye right in my ear, though I suspect he might have been trying to smell me. I could be making that part up, but I did notice that the office I was sitting in all day *did* smell really nice whenever I'd walk back into it, so I know that I did smell extra great on Friday.
|Thursday, August 25th, 2011|
AND OMG YOU GUYS! I just realized that one year ago today I was finding out that Joe had been lying to me about having a new girlfriend! Today is the anniversary of the "Your standards are so impossibly high that you'll always be alone" text!
I'm not at all bummed about Joe -- GOOD RIDDANCE -- but shit...I had no idea August 25th was such a danger zone day!
Let's review my track record over the last year:
1. Joe: Separated, but married when we started up.
2. Buster: Freshly divorced or separated...not sure.
3. Frenchie McFrencherson: Believed to be married
4. Alberto's: Freshly separated
5. Tall Dude Who Doesn't Get a Name Because I'm Annoyed: Married.
WHAT THE HELL, INTERNET??
Why can't I find an ALL THE WAY divorced one? Or a single one? WHY WHY WHY?
Also: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH SINCE I LAST UPDATED!
I still love you, LJ, I promise.
|Friday, July 29th, 2011|
|So THAT'S why!
I kept feeling pain on the back of my thigh but hadn't done anything dangerous or drunken so I didn't think to, I dunno, actually LOOK...and then just now I noticed this:
I'd LOVE to know how I did that!
(And ignore the heel. The other one is uglier, but they don't hurt. My heel bones are sorta arched instead of being straight so shoes never fit me right and tend to fall off my feet unless I'm strapped in, and my skin gets all tortured looking in the process. Ad to that the shaving nics and a few bug bites and my ankles are UGLY.)
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Who watches The Bachelorette? Because my favorite Amazing Race winner just told me that she's going on a date tonight with the dude who came back and got rejected again on this week's episode.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
|Sunday, July 24th, 2011|
So like 10 days ago I started talking to this dude from OKCupid and he's not exceptionally tall (just my height, actually), but he loves San Jose, he's tight with his family, he's six days younger than me, he lives halfway between me and my parents (who live a whopping three miles away), I think he owns his home, he's into fixing cars and seems generally very handy and seemed to know the exact right complement to pay and/or thing to say that I actually allowed myself to think for a moment that MAYBE THIS WAS IT!?!
I was trying to let him be the man and suggest a meet-n-greet but a week went by and there wasn't anything of the sort...just a pleasant text conversation. Then I found myself without plans on Thursday night so I asked him if he'd be free to meet up. He asked if he could let me know around 5 or 6. I said sure and proceeded to not hold my breath. 6PM came and went and then 7PM came and went and I was confused and shocked and bummed that he'd just blow me off.
Then at 8:30 he was like "I am so so sorry -- I just left work 15 minutes ago. I really do want to meet you soon."
Which was good because at least he wasn't totally blowing me off, but on the other hand, WERE HIS FINGERS BROKEN? I wasn't sitting at home waiting for him and when I left work at 5 I went and got dinner and generally made plans to spend the evening alone and figured that MAYBE he'd surprise me and be available...but I was not expecting it to play out the way it did.
But okay. I can forgive him. He was "so so sorry."
One of the questions on OKCupid talks about whether some sort of communication with your partner is necessary on a daily basis. He said no to that one so there have been a couple days that have gone by where I haven't initiated a conversation and neither has he. And then if we do have an exchange, he'll sometimes just drop off and leave my last text unaddressed, which I find very annoying but dude, I'm just some chick from the internet so I can get over it.
And then last night we were texting back and forth and it was fine and then I asked him when we were going to get this meet-n-greet scheduled (because FOR REALS, I DON'T WANT A PEN PAL) and then NOTHING.
And then nothing today either. I can't tell if he's playing me or if he's not interested anymore or what. I'm pretty disappointed that this one that I actually allowed myself to get hopeful for turned out to be JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS and I'm reminded of why I swore off internet dating.
And then I deleted his phone number so I wouldn't be tempted to initiate a conversation and then I hid my OKCupid and Match profiles.
And now I want to hang up my hat on the whole dating thing entirely. I was trying to hit 20 before giving up and I'm only at 5 (I think) but GOOD GOD this is just too annoying and I HATE spending mental energy on these things.
And nowwwwwww I'm wasting time thinking about what I'll say if he does ever text me again.
|Monday, July 18th, 2011|
The 25 year old I technically report to and who likes to call me a slut because I'm a Flirty McFlirterson SHOWED UP AT WORK TODAY WITH A HICKEY.
So of course I called her out on it.
But for reals, this is excellent ammo for me. I've never EVER EVER done that. She can bite me.
|Wednesday, July 6th, 2011|
|Tuesday, July 5th, 2011|
GUESS WHO MOVED OUT OF THE ICU TODAY?
She's supposed to come home tomorrow, even! After five nights in the ICU, Ben and Sarah think the shared room on the regular care floor is like the Taj Mahal.
|Sunday, July 3rd, 2011|
Precious, darling baby update:
She's still in the ICU, they're not sure why her heart muscle is still not 100% doing what it's supposed to do, particularly since she's free of any other symptoms that might help them make a diagnosis, but she's happy and alert and kicking and enjoys grabbing at the many tubes still in her tiny little body.
The doctors and nurses are wonderful, the other patients look TEN THOUSAND TIMES WORSE, and at least their "I don't know"'s are better than bad news.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.